My married sugardaddy wants me to be his girlfriend!

Q. I am currently involved with a married man (go figure) for the last 2 years, who originally started out as my regular from the strip club. I’ve since hung up the heels & am a full time career woman. Our relationship is nothing more than me calling him when I “need” something (i.e. big purchases that I don’t wanna pay for, all expense paid vacations, etc) & him just pretending he doesn’t want sex in return. A few months into seeing him, he bought me my first car & helped me pay off tuition for school. He’s also given me money for bills & helped me out of financial binds when I didn’t have the financial stability I have now. Now that I don’t see or talk to him as often, he’s come up with the proposition that he wants me to be his “girlfriend” (mind you, he’s married 20 years) & is willing to pay half of all my bills, buy me a new car, continue paying the insurance for the car I currently have, as well as cover all general maintenance for myself (spa treatments, hair, nails, etc). He also wants to be able to have overnights at my place at least 2-3x a week. I’ve told him NO, HELL NO, & FUCK NO all in the same breath. I’ve expressed many times how much I enjoy being single & not being “tied down” to anybody. Plus, he’s married. I’m in my 20s, he’s in his 50s & claims to make six figures before taxes. My question is, how do I handle this situation?? Do I cut him off completely or continue to dig in his wallet? 

A. The answer depends on how persistent he is. He knows you don’t want him like that yet he’s playing dumb and trying to tie you down anyway. When I know I’m not gonna give a man what he wants I just lead him on until he figures it out and stops spending. And like you said, him staying overnight especially that often is a HELL NO!! You don’t want his funky ass getting comfortable and thinking he can come over and leave his things there whenever he feels like it. Or running to you when he and his wife gets into it. Sounds like he’s forgetting his role as a stress free sugardaddy who is supposed to respect your privacy and space as much as you do his. He has someone to answer to, you don’t. Don’t let him change that cause the second he suspects you’re seeing someone else or having company over, it will be a problem for him and your gravy train may be at risk. Men are emotional and easily damaged so letting him have more of you is not in his best interest (or yours). Married men shouldn't have the audacity to expect monogamy from their side piece but they always do. He should be grateful you don’t want to see his ass that much cause that’ll increase the risk that his wife finds out and then he really won’t be able to fund his extra curricular activities. Help his dumbass see the value in falling the fuck back.

Sometimes more money comes with more strings so don’t fall for all his promises even though he has delivered before. You should continue to dig into his wallet until he cuts you off for non compliance or you replace him with someone single and not so needy. You can lead him on if you like for more money and gifts (that’s what I did to someone’s husband who demanded monogamy) or make clear that your relationship has non negotiable boundaries that he can take or leave. As you stated, you have a career so his money won’t necessarily be missed. Find out how serious he is about it and respond accordingly. He’s too old and unavailable to be a bug-a-boo.


As they say, no one wants a girlfriend more than a married man. 

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