Many of you are self aware enough to know you keep repeating dating mistakes that get you used or nowhere at all. Start breaking bad habits. Stop doing things that convey the opposite of what you really want. If you don’t want to sleep with him yet, don’t go anywhere which suggests that might happen (a hotel “just to use the pool” or to his home so he can “check on his dog”). Both of those lines have been used on me and I didn’t fall for it but many of you do and get mad at yourselves afterwards. Don’t be talked into what you don’t want to do. Stop saying you want to want to be taken care of but allow him to spend little or nothing on you. Or worse, you pay the bills your damn self.

Or maybe you use self sabotage as a defense mechanism so you don't get hurt and to feel like you’re in control. I used to do that. I’d say rude things to men as a way to show I couldn’t be used or deceived but all it did was drive away men I actually matched well with. I once told a guy that I didn’t care if another woman tried to take him because I’d already gotten lots of money and a vacation out of him. You should’ve saw the look on his face. I didn’t necessarily mean that but it was my way of saying, “Fuck up if you want to.” At times my attitude was pure insecurity over something they didn’t control or cause. I’m still in control but I’m doing better.

Action: Check yourself. Write down your worst relationship habits and how you can better communicate your boundaries and feelings when you think shit is about to go left. Practice what you would say in certain situations to either walk away or turn them into a financial win.