He's Gross! What should I do?
Q. Hey Sugarfuzz, so I met a man much older than me. He's 58 I'm 21. I'm still a university student. I looked him up and he is president of a big engineering company. We met on a regular dating site and yesterday we met in real life for a lunch and opera. He took me to a nice restaurant and gave me money at the end of the date (for the taxi he said). He's asked me for a next date and several others. Because he had "such a great time" ... I'm not so keen on dating this man for free. He's fat and ugly. I really do make him look good in front of his peers and the public. I engage in interesting conversation with him. Make him laugh, smile and listen to his long life stories. He has no kids and no wife. He's a very fat, lonely, workaholic from what I've observed. How do I bring up an allowance? I need money for a comfortable student accommodation and many other things I may like. I would love to travel the world and have nice things. But I'm scared to ask because he might say no. (A 50 year old man called me a golddigger after I asked him for £200. I'd slept with him prior to that happening. Never again). So I really am not comfortable with the idea of making this man feel good for free. I know you say we should just ask but I'm so scared because this is something I actually need. And I just met this man.
UPDATE: I asked over the phone for "financial help for something very important to me". Hadn't even said the amount I needed when this man said no and to never speak to him again. Much different from the sweet gentleman I met. I feel silly for making this man look good in public even for one split second. I'm not sure if I would have gotten the cash if I had waited longer and seduced him to give it to me. But I don't feel good about playing games and manipulating people. Plus it's a waiting game that's not guaranteed to work. I just want someone that recognizes the value I add to their life and pays accordingly without me having to resort to lies and fake stories. Are there men that just get that? Lost count of how many men have called me a golddigger simply for wanting more than being taken on dates... men benefit more from dates than we do. Feeling really discouraged but I know I deserve better and I'd rather be single than to be everything to a man who refuses to be anything valuable to me. Back to living in shitty student accommodation till I graduate and finally "get a job and stop being a golddigger".
A. Sadly, he's one of many entitled losers out there trying to use women for nothing and considering his age and looks, he knows better. Ugly men have the most confidence sometimes. Going out on dates and being nice is part of the process but doesn't always pay off. Good thing is you didn't waste too much time trying to impress him and still end up with nothing. The key is to keep meeting men and remembering there's no way around getting to the point. The sooner you bring up an allowance, the better. A man who respects and wants to keep you around will understand what you mean and comply. In this case, by asking, you reminded him that he's not worth spending time with for free. That's how they should all feel. Sugaring is a lifestyle, not a phase for when you're young and struggling. Golddigger is an insult meant to make you devalue yourself. Don't let losers discourage you from asking for what you deserve because they don't want to pay. What one man wont do, another one will. Block and move on :)