Call Him Out

You get what you put up with so set the standard from the beginning. 

When a guy is new at dating or is just a sleazeball, he’ll say things or behave in a way that is offensive to a woman who respects herself. It’s up to you to shut him down right away. Squash his fragile ego which is telling him to try to score early in the game like he did with the others. Let him know you’re better than that.

The only thing men should expect on a first date is great company, nothing more. Gentlemen recognize that, losers don’t. This is why it’s important to tell dates about what kind of qualities you’re seeking and mean it. If a man says or does something inappropriate that seems like it’s just who he is, then never see him again. If it was a mistake he still doesn’t recognize, use it as the perfect opportunity to guilt his pathetic ass into embarrassment.

For example if he turns the topic to sex too soon, suggests going back to his/your place after dinner, or says something stupid in general, make a shocked face and say in a dramatic and raised tone, “Wow, I didn’t know you were like THAT.” He’ll probably ask what you mean by THAT, not recognizing he’s a pile of shit, and you should proceed to tell him about the fuckboys you’ve met who made assumptions about what you wanted and how they spent the night with their hand instead. If a guy disappoints you on a date, he’ll disappoint you in bed too. Don’t give him that chance. 

Any man who considers himself to be respectable will second guess himself more often before he speaks or acts because he won’t want to upset you. Now, in a long-term relationship that will change a bit because people get used to each other. He’ll care less about your feelings and you’ll care more about how much money he makes, as you should. Correcting a man about what’s appropriate should make him realize that you are doing him a favor by making him more aware of his behavior and see that he should strive to be better. Why? Because he doesn’t want to be THAT guy. Some guys really don’t know they’re being jerks so we have to tell them. If he is really out of line make him believe that something is wrong with him. Look at and talk to him in a non confrontational way that deeply suggests he may have some serious mental health issues. Say it with a straight face so he feels like he’s talking to his mom. Make him think it’s the last time he’ll ever see you again because it is.

Whether it’s over the phone or in person, you have to use language that tells men you expect them to have some home training. The good guys will stick around and the losers will move on. You want a man who calls and says, “Do you need anything? I’ll get it for you”, not one who largely texts and asks, “What are you doing?” because he’s bored and hopes you want some too.

Set the tone, mean it, and watch the trash take itself out.